Intimacy Bank {a dating principle}

When Daniel and I started dating, he introduced me to the intimacy bank. If you are a single person, aspiring to be married, definitely you’ll go through the process of getting-to-know and building relationship with your special someone. You’ll find this helpful.

The intimacy bank is where you store your desire for physical intimacy with the person you are in courtship with. It’s like wanting to kiss the person, but you cannot yet, so you save it up, put the desire in the intimacy bank. Or wanting to hold hands or give hugs, whichever gives you that spark, and so withholding it, you save it up, put the desire in the intimacy bank.

Think savings. By the time you’re married, you’ll realize that you have so much in your bank to splurge. Splurge in intimacy!

I can still remember my first date with Daniel at Café Mary Grace Trinoma, May 2010. We made a list of proper boundaries in our courtship, agreed and committed to it- and held on to our dear Lord for empowering strength! Because we know it’s not easy, but it’s worth it. Fast forward to February 2012, our first date as a married couple, it was our first time EVER to watch a movie together and we were those excited and giddy honeymooners. We just wanted to save that watching-a-movie-type of intimacy (rubbing elbows and leaning on shoulders included) for our marriage.

Why is it worth saving? Because physical intimacy used up wrongly is costly. When two people are attracted to each other, there is a burning passion for each other that can be translated either to words or actions. Let’s admit that there is a temptation to cross the boundaries you know you shouldn’t be crossing at the moment.

Ultimately, it is God’s design not to consume any sexual passions outside marriage. It breaks trust, breaks people and breaks our relationship with God. It is important to God that we flee from sexual immorality. I have seen young men and women who became devastated simply because boundary lines were crossed, sin entered their relationships and eventually destroyed them. If you are in that state, there is no way that God cannot redeem you. There is always an abounding grace for each wounded heart. There is always hope to make that 180-degree turn and start anew.

Raise the bar. The world will offer you its standards. And the Bible holds the truth about standards. Why settle for an edgy and dangerous path? Why walk close to the edge and just a step before a fall?

Intimacy bank. Build your funds. Write your own courtship parameters. I encourage you to honor the Lord with it and apply it. Get rid of bank robbers. Splurge when you get married. It will also save you a lot of tears.



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